Updated: Monday, April 28, 2025
By Liz, IvyWise Chief Marketing Officer
For nearly 25 years, I’ve made a career out of helping students navigate their road to college. From test prep to pre-college summer programs to admissions counseling, I have seen firsthand how the right support can transform uncertainty into confidence and turn dreams into acceptances.
So, when it came to my own daughter, I thought I’d be ready for anything: the countless school visits, the deadlines, the college application essays, the stress. But nothing prepared me for the emotional side of letting go and watching her discover who she is and what she wants — not just where she might get in.
It was quite the journey going from her freshman year to where she is today. Her goal from a very young age was to play volleyball in college. My daughter was introduced to the sport when she was little, thanks to my husband, who’s a longtime volleyball coach. Even before she picked up a ball, she was immersed in the game — tagging along to his matches as a toddler, watching from the sidelines with wide eyes. She started playing volleyball at seven and has been all in ever since.
We knew she would play Division II or III volleyball, since she isn’t tall enough to play DI as an outside hitter. Recruited athletes need to start early, and my daughter started emailing coaches at the end of her freshman year.
In her sophomore year, she narrowed her search to academically rigorous colleges with Division III volleyball programs. She invited coaches to come see her play at various club tournaments. From Philadelphia to Washington, D.C. to Atlanta, coaches showed up, and their interest in her as a potential recruit started to grow. It was both exciting and nerve-wracking. I remember thinking back then that college still felt so far away.
In her junior year, she made the decision to pursue engineering, which led her to focus on schools with strong programs in the field. There were ups and downs along the way, from the pressure of balancing recruiting with her studies, to navigating the fine line between college volleyball and her goal to study engineering.
As the process unfolded and coaches got to know her as a player and potential student, she started to envision herself at many of the schools she visited. She had some tough decisions to make. But with every campus visit and conversation with a coach, she gained clarity. Every step brought her closer to finding her best-fit college, where she could excel on the court and in the classroom.
After months of weighing options and thinking deeply about what was most important to her, she committed in the spring of her junior year. In the end, she chose Union College — a school that aligns perfectly with her goals. She is incredibly excited about the opportunities ahead. Our whole family is. And so is the entire IvyWise team!
Recently, we attended an admitted student event at Union College together. I found myself watching her more than anything else — how she lit up when she saw the engineering facilities and how she instinctively filled gaps in the conversation at breakfast with the other admitted students.
I’ve been reflecting on the parent perspective and how different this feels when it’s your own child. All the professional knowledge in the world doesn’t prepare you for the emotional rollercoaster of pride, nerves, and hope. She’s not just choosing a college — she’s stepping into her future, and I’m witnessing her own it.
One of the highlights of Admitted Students Day is that she got to do an overnight in one of the residence halls with a future teammate. When she returned to our hotel the next morning, I asked her how it went, and her face said it all. She lit up as she talked about how much fun she had, how welcoming everyone was, how much she learned just by being around the other girls. But what stood out to me was when she said, “My favorite part is that I feel like I fit right in.” That’s exactly what you want to hear as a parent. She didn’t just visit a college. She found a place that already feels like home.
That moment — seeing her light up, knowing that she found her place — reminded me of how much we’ve both learned throughout this journey. With that in mind, in no particular order, here are a few takeaways and words of advice:
Whether your child is a recruited athlete or applying as an undeclared major, it’s imperative to research colleges you’re considering. This is where your child will spend four years, and it’s important for them to get to know the school and everything about it, including the campus culture. They don’t want to end up at a school that looks great on paper but feels completely wrong in person — whether it’s the social scene, academic pressure, lack of support, or just a vibe that doesn’t click.
College is more than a name or ranking; it’s where your child will live, grow, and navigate some of the most transformative years of their life. By doing research, they can ensure it will be a place that fits who they are and who they want to become.
Some of us may think we know what’s best for our children when it comes to which college they should attend, but it’s their path, not ours. The college admissions journey can be a rollercoaster for both teens and parents.
It may be tempting to offer opinions or solutions, but the most powerful tool a parent has is the ability to listen. Ask open-ended questions to invite reflection like, “What are you most excited about when you think about college?” Questions like this invite conversation, not just answers.
Start having conversations with your child about college as early as possible, especially from ninth grade — after all, colleges consider all four years of grades and activities. If your child is leaning toward a particular path, it helps to start thinking about it early. Even if they’re unsure, talking to them openly will set the foundation for a thoughtful and intentional high school experience.
My daughter knew she wanted to play volleyball in college at an early age, but she had no clue what she wanted to study or where she wanted to attend, so we selected a mix of big and small schools in different parts of the country. As she started to figure out what was most important to her (for example, being a drive away and not a plane ride away), her college list began to narrow, reflecting not only her academic and athletic goals but also the lifestyle and environment where she would be most comfortable.
Every school has its own unique personality and vibe, and the only way to really get a feel for it is through college visits. Sign up for the campus tours as well as the information sessions, and don’t hesitate to ask questions! This is where you’ll notice the unspoken details you won’t find on websites or in brochures. If you can’t visit in person, take advantage of virtual campus tours and info sessions.
At one of the schools we visited, we arrived on campus, spent 10 minutes talking to people, and left before the info session even started. She immediately knew it wasn’t the right place for her. Getting a true sense of the environment is crucial.
The college application journey can be overwhelming, emotional, and stressful. As parents, it’s natural that we want to control each step and smooth every bump. But this process is as much about growth as it is about getting in. Trust that your child is learning resilience, self-discovery, and independence along the way.
Even when it feels uncertain, support and guide them, but also give them the space to rise to the occasion. The right fit will emerge, and often, the path to get there is just as meaningful as the destination.
My daughter and I are forever grateful to IvyWise counselor Chris for his support, encouragement, and expertise in both college admissions and athletic recruiting. His insights were invaluable, and he made this process much less stressful for both of us — and more hands off for me. I’m so excited for her and can’t wait to see how she thrives at Union.
Want to learn how IvyWise can help your child?
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