Articles by Katherine Cohen

President and Founder of Ivywise, An Educational Counseling Service
Author: The Truth About Getting In and Rock Hard Apps

Lessons Learned from The College Admissions Specialist

Parents want their kids to "fit in" and be like most of the other kids, or the popular kids in school. They fear that a child who is "different," won't be able to socialize. The problem is, if your child is exactly like every other child, it's going to be very hard for your child to distinguish himself or herself in the college admissions process. If your child and his or her peers are all joining the same clubs, participating in the same activities, taking the same courses, and having the same typical summer experiences, then there is little way of standing out.

Fifteen years ago, colleges were looking for well-rounded kids with great grades and high-test scores; that was enough to get in to the most selective colleges. But this is no longer the case. The applicant pool is flooded with bright, well-rounded kids. So the most selective colleges these days are not only looking for the kids with the highest grades and test scores, but also for kids who are "angular", who have shown proficiency and passion for one or two endeavors. The angular student has excelled at those activities, showing an increasing amount of responsibility, leadership, and commitment over four years time. Colleges are looking for specialists. That way, they can make up a well-rounded student body with these angular kids.

One memorable student from New York City, who excelled in science, math and languages, embodied the value of pursuing your strengths. He loved Chemistry, was adept at computers, and spoke several languages, including two Indian dialects. He chose to pursue an internship in Chemistry. After writing to and communicating with several leading professors, he secured a very different summer experience. He spent the summer before 12th grade working for a world-renowned Chemistry professor in India: for three straight months. As a result of his extensive lab work in a hospital there, he achieved the accolade of becoming a first author on a chemistry paper-practically unheard of for a high school student. The paper was later published in The Journal of Solid State Chemistry.

During his time at the hospital in India, he noticed that the administration still relied on a paper record system. So, with his computer knowledge, he created a computerized database for the hospital. He was giving back to the community while pursuing his passion for Chemistry.

Besides Chemistry, he was interested in international relations and politics. He was a leading member of his Model UN team and editor of his high school's political review magazine. His facility with languages allowed him to read several newspapers weekly in different languages, which enhanced his knowledge of and perspective on world affairs. He wasn't a member of any school sports teams, but he didn't need to be. He embraced his angularity and went all the way with his particular interests, applying them in varied and creative ways. Although, he was individually unique, he had many friends who were athletes, mainstream, and could be deemed popular. He was able to interact with many groups on his high school campus. He was also admitted to Harvard University for the Class of 2007.

This kind of deep commitment to a few interests correlates with the idea of kids thinking outside the box, because the ones who aren't afraid to take risks and distinguish themselves, the ones who have become the most productive they can be with their passions, will be rewarded at the end of the day. Plus, they will enjoy each day more, because they are doing what they love to do!

Parents are probably asking right now, "What if your child is the type of kid who does think out of the box, is angular and intelligent, and is not good socially? Then what?"

Today this presents a potential problem. but if you are aware of the situation at an early age there are things that can be done to overcome these hurdles. Any selective college is going to ask themselves how the student will fit into and participate in their college community. What's going to be your role? How will your presence be known on campus? How will it enhance the community? How will you give back to that community? Why do they need you? If socially you are not an integral part of your high school community or the community in which you live, then it will be difficult if not impossible for a college to see how you will enhance their community. This rule applies to the most selective colleges in the country, whose admit rates are less than 50%.

The good news is that there are over 3500 colleges and universities in this country, so there is bound to be some college matches for every student, even kids who are hindered socially. The rule I use is: the weirder and more wonderful the kid, the bigger the school they need. If you're into taxidermy and Swedish techno music, you'll be more likely to find somebody else who shares your interests at a larger school.

Another question parents ask is, "What happens if your child is extraordinarily shy?"

Again, fifteen years ago, the shy kid could easily get into the most selective colleges because admissions was based more on grades and test scores. Being shy did not affect them negatively if they could show academically what they had to offer. There wasn't so much competition. Today, in college admissions, being shy can be a major hurdle on many levels. But it can be overcome if you know the best ways to work with your child.

If your child is shy and quiet, it's unlikely that he or she is going to participate much in the classroom, making it hard for the teacher to gauge what he or she knows and doesn't know. The shy student who is smart and the quiet student who does not understand what is going on in the classroom may be judged the same by a teacher. The student who is very shy and does not participate, can also be viewed as selfish, or as a loner, or as too arrogant to participate in what's going on in the classroom. A college is going to ask, how are they going to contribute to their classrooms? If you can't prove it in high school, the college has no point of reference. The worst-case scenario is for the student who is incredibly intelligent to be quiet in the classroom, because teachers can view that student as one withholding important information that would contribute to classroom learning. In other words, often times it takes a peer to explain the concept to other peers, because the teacher isn't necessarily making it clear to everybody. A peer can often explain it in a different way so everyone can understand.

Being shy not only can work against you in high school in the classroom, but it can also be the deal-breaker in the college admissions process. If you are unwilling to reveal the most personal things about yourself, then your application is bound to be superficial and lackluster--it simply will not be compelling to an admissions reader. College applications today are extremely personal. You have to reveal your grades, test scores, honors, awards, character, personality, thoughts, opinions, beliefs, what is most important to you, how you spend your time outside of the classroom, learning differences, even personal tragedies, anything that has affected your academic record. And you are revealing all of this information to total strangers! Certainly in an interview situation, you are going to be asked personal questions. So, you need to be prepared. You can make the argument, "I don't want to reveal the most personal things about me to people I don't know." But if you don't, you're not going to get in to the most selective schools. Period. At the end of the day, you will have a shallow application.

If you are a parent, and have a very shy child, it is important to work with them on expressing themselves. Make it safe for them to verbalize their feelings and opinions to other people, and make it okay for them to be who they are. Discuss with your child what they are reading in school; this way they can continue that dialogue in the classroom uninhibited.

Parents, encourage your children to think outside the box. Nurture their passions, whatever they are, making sure they're not becoming "Jack of all trades, Master of none." Make sure your children are not becoming serial joiners by following their friends and dabbling in club after club, random activity after activity. Instead, help your children find ways to become more deeply involved in the things that they love. Encourage them to be expressive about whom they are, their thoughts, their opinions. Getting them talking about what they are learning in school will help them in the classroom. Discuss the books they are reading with them. Discuss their history class and how it relates to current events. You might even try enrolling them in public speaking or speech classes, so they can learn how to speak in front of other people, and overcome that fear. There are strategies and remedies for this personality type and they don't only work for the child in their college admissions process, it also works for them in life.

I remember a student who nearly ruined her chances of admission at Harvard, her first choice school, because she was painfully shy. She was also extremely bright and a good test taker, but when it came down to working on the actual application, she rebelled. She wrote her first essay-for my review-- about how she hated writing essays! She really lashed out, and I could see that she was angry about being asked to write a personal essay.

I worked with her, session after session, to help her learn how to answer personal questions. I started having her answer the questions on paper because of her trouble with verbal expression. Eventually, we came up with the topic of her experience as an Orthodox Jew and all that she felt she had to give up in order to maintain her observant lifestyle. She wrote about how her religion was her choice, because even though she grew up in a family of Orthodox Jews, she chose to make certain sacrifices because her orthodoxy was important to her. This essay was about who she was as a person, including her choices and challenges, such as not joining certain athletic teams, eating certain foods, and giving up time with her friends. She finally wrote this outstanding, personal essay and a brilliant application. After sending it out, she got a call from Harvard about an interview. When she came in for interview preparation, I wanted to go easy on her because I knew she was shy.

"What do you like to do?" I asked the first question of our mock interview. Immediately she turned bright red and burst into tears. She felt it was so offensive to be asked personal questions, and she didn't like to talk about herself. I was thankful she broke down with me and not in her Harvard interview, because they would have thought, "she's too immature, too emotionally unstable to handle the challenge of college; she can't even manage an interview." Harvard wouldn't have admitted her, because high grades and test scores cannot outweigh emotional immaturity. After several mock interviews with me, she got better and better. When she finally went to her Harvard interview, she did a great job (she did not break down and cry!) and she got in Early Action for the Class of 2007.

As college admissions is so competitive today that not only do you have to stand out by being different, but you also have to be able to integrate with others and express who you are. So if you're introverted, a loner, or not able to interact with others, or just the typical kid who does what everybody else does, these selective college communities are not going to want you. You have to prove that you would become a valuable member of the college community. Applying to college is like applying for membership to a private club. The membership is ongoing, and as part of that community, you are expected to give back in ways that only you can. Express who you are and embrace your angular, unique self.